Flirting With Disaster

473.  It's the number I used when I exaggerate..."I just worked 473 hours" or "Why does that person have 473 children?"  473.  Also the number of people who have viewed me on match.com.  How many people have I been on a date with?  Well, this time?  4.  How many people have I been on a 2nd date with?  1.   Is it me, or do my odds suck?

I'll admit...I haven't always been so open.  My mom would say I'm picky...that I'll find something wrong with everyone.  And in the past, I suppose she was right.  If you had abnormally small hands, or laughed like a hyena, I probably would have broken up with you by date 3.  If you didn't laugh at my jokes, or sent an email with a spelling error, probably date 2 would have been cut short.  Now though, it seems so much easier to call it quits on date 1, and I promise its not because I'm being picky.

My new rules are simple.  Talk.  Like, hold a conversation.  If I leave feeling like I spent an evening with myself, then  next time, I'll just do that.  And if you have trouble with this task, let's go somewhere more entertaining than Chili's.

Next, don't black out.  Drinking a case of Miller Lite (out of cans) at the bar is NOT a good first impression.  If you can't remember the date tomorrow, then my guess it was as much of a waste of time for you as it was for me.  At least, that's what I'm lead to believe until the text about how much fun you had (even though you forgot the 2 shots of vodka you downed) and can't wait to see me again.  I mean...???

Third, don't be a douchebag and order for me and then expect me to pay half the check at the end of the night.  Now don't get me wrong, I ALWAYS offer, and sometimes mean it.  But first, let me offer before you pull out your TI-83 to calculate "splitsies", and if you do expect me to go dutch on the check of food I didn't want, don't call me the next day telling me how much fun you had, because you could have fooled me when you made me pay for your bad choice in wine and dessert.

This year I met two people I considered dating longer than 2 date term.  Both times, my dream at a casual relationship was shattered by the pressure to commit after reaching the 6 hour mark of spending time together.  The first time, I was confronted for not acting "into him" enough.  Most recently, I've been asked to have "an honest moment" to talk about our feelings, and to lay down the terms of our, and I quote, "relationship."  I thought girls were supposed to be the pushy ones? The ones who rush things? Instead, I seem to find the only 2 people online who feel the need to claim you as their own after a sushi dinner and Muppet movie. W. T. F.