Cinco De Crapo

It's been a rough few weeks and today became the icing on the cake. The cherry on the ice cream sundae. The straw that broke the camels back.

Nothing happened in particular, but weeks of long days at work, sleepless nights, and too much time to think about everything that sucks has kinda taken its toll. As if my recent resemblance to Shrek wasn't bad enough (side effect of insomnia...at least I hope that's all it is...) my extra hours of hard work are not yet paying off, I found a shoebox full of pictures and paraphernalia during spring cleaning that forced me to reminisce and then be sad, and, I didn't even get to drink a margarita (or 7) in attempt to forget about it all because I got stood up for plans. (Don't get excited, Mom, it wasn't a date.)

So, what better day than today to start back up with resolutioning. For a while now, I've been terrible at commitment. I'm constantly cancelling plans with my friends. Most of you can probably name a recent last minute cancellation due to either absentmindedness, illness, exhaustion, work, work, or... work. Sad, but true, if you don't live in a 1 mile, last minute plans kind of radius from me, chances are you haven't seen me in months. Although some of these cancellation reasons are out of my control, moving forward, I plan to do whatever it takes to become a more reliable person again. Knowing that I can't be depended on right now is horrible, so whatever it takes, I'm going to win the lottery and not have anything else to do ever except make plans and show up! Or, if by any chance that doesn't happen, I'll do whatever it takes to make sure that I will do everything in my power to be there when I say I will. No excuses.

Basically, I'm on a mission to find balance. In the meantime, I'm going to find some tequila. Crappy, I mean, Happy Cinco De Mayo everyone!